Because I can, darlings.
Because I can.
The Brit: Best friend and occasional f*ck buddy.
Looks: Blue of eye and broad of shoulder, he's got the manly, rugby player thing going.
Company: Generally of a very high standard indeed. One of the few who can match me in banter and who doesn't let me get away with anything.
Performance betwixt les sheets: Well intentioned and eager to please (albeit rarely successful). Slightly too keen to enter the exit, if you get my meaning, and I am standing firm that until he masters the front door, the back will remain securely locked. Baby steps.
El Matador: My own personal underwear model.
Looks: Um...did you read the synopsis? Spanish. Tall. Blue eyes, black hair, dark skin, muscles...excuse me, I need a moment.
Company: Meh. He's not here for his conversational skills.
Performance betwixt les sheets: Surprisingly good, for someone you could only assume never really had to try at anything.
The Professor: School is IN, kids.
Looks: Dark, brooding, full lipped and tall. Very tall.
Company: Rivalled only by The Brit, he's a political science professor at a very well respected University in London. What he doesn't know about the political divide in the Middle East would fit atop my hopes for reproduction. Also, he's a big fan of tantra. Ummmm....
Performance betwixt les sheets: See above.
The Russian: Like Tolstoy, but with a really big...
Looks: Exactly as you would expect. Tousled, mysterious, fair haired and sharp eyed. With shoulders like a city block and a really, really long tongue.
*cough*
Company: Full of surprises, he is most fond of long chats over whisky and cigarettes. I love him in some ways...
Performance betwixt les sheets: Exhausting. In a good way.
The Pilot: Every girl's guilty pleasure.
Looks: Well above average - of mixed ethnicity and the perfect specimen of "tall dark and handsome". If by handsome you mean square jawed and full lipped, with a clean-shaven head, great muscles and an ACTUAL third leg (really, it was terrifying at first glance). Oh that IS what you meant? Groovy. Same page and all that.
Company: Brilliant, if you love getting p*ssed and talking absolute bollocks with a bunch of military pilots. Also kind of a cock.
Performance betwixt les sheets: Pretty fecking spectacular, it has to be said.
THE Spaniard: (Given mention here simply sdue to his legendary status and the fact that, despite being chucked out of the Harem, we remain friends. Also, I have a good memory. Damnit.)
Company: Always well above average, the laugh is particularly infectious and the selection of dining establishments always absolutely top notch.
Performance betwixt les sheets: Legendary. Has actually made a girlfriend of mine say, "I think he may have broken me" (Sweet girl, but an amateur, really.). Is eerily quiet, mid coitus, which is slightly unnerving, but could (and really should) give lessons in kissing.
Too bad he's a c*nt.
I'll do my best to keep this list fresh and updated, my naughty ones.
Any vacancies will be listed here as and when they occur.
