*lights a cigarette and takes a long, satisfied drag*
It seems I hit something of a hot button with a few of you yesterday.
*wicked smile*
How MARVELOUS.
And how perplexing...
It does appear as though neither of the readers who vocally took offense to my open letter actually fell into the category of vapid or opinion less (as was made glaringly evident by the length and/or aggression of their comments), so I'm not entirely sure what the fuss was all about.
But the experience of receiving my first hate comments (As opposed to the usual "Jesus hates you" emails. Why do Christian fundamentalists always email? Honestly, it just clogs up my inbox and, newsflash, Bible Beaters: I don't give a shit.) has been an interesting one for two reasons:
First, it seems I have somehow given entirely the wrong impression of myself.
Apparently, I've been unclear and, as a result, a few of you have come away from this wee corner of the interweb with a horribly inaccurate picture of me.
You've been led astray by some mysterious force and well, I feel it my duty to bring you back to the path of the decidedly UNrighteous.
BRT22N seems to be of the opinion that, despite protestations to the contrary, I am, in actual fact, a "judgemental asshat" (What a delightful word.).
*ponder*
So okay. I'm not sure about the asshat portion (What would such a hat look like anyway? I think I'll picture it as a super cool, blues style trilby, a la Smooth Criminal. In charcoal grey with a peacock blue feather in the side. Niiice.), but judgemental? You betcha.
I don't recall suggesting that I wasn't.
I'm also narcissistic, self absorbed, sexually liberated, financially independent, politically informed, in possession of a mind-bogglingly impressive pair of (natural) breasts and generally a complete and unapologetic b*tch.
Lovely to meet you, I'm The Barreness.
I do think that women should support one another. Unless of course said women are vapid, stupid, brainwashed, utterly dependent, manipulative or judging ME - at which point I think they should be thrashed with switches and shouted at (electronically or otherwise) until they pull their collective fingers out of their lazy asses and realise what they could be.
As my newest girl crush, the unbearably hot Nikki said, oh so eloquently:
"Saying these things is not anti woman. It's pro woman. It's shit or get off the pot. It's I love women so much I want them, all of them, to reach their full potential."
I couldn't have said it better myself, Nikki.
And, let's be honest - when does THAT happen?
Anyway, now that we've got that cleared up, onto what I found most interesting about yesterday's experience:
Actually? I loved their comments.
Loved. Them.
Not because I enjoy being virtually shouted at (despite asshat-related giggles), but because they felt the need to post them.
Neither BRT22N nor Lily (her reluctant team member) has ever commented here before (that I know of), which makes both of them members of the ever elusive "lurker" crowd - a group of people that bloggers everywhere are DESPERATE to draw out of the shadows. Furthermore, they appear to be regular lurkers (as opposed to just casual passers by) and also, if I may say so, pretty feisty bitches themselves.*
*This does beg the question why my last post was so offensive, as I doubt either of them actually fits the description I set forth, but I'll have to let that go for now...
The beauty of receiving your first hate comments is the realisation that something you've written has evoked strong enough emotion for a usually shy "lurker type" to come out of the shadows and shout FUCK YOU. It means they're interested. They're engaged. They care enough to shout at you when they think you're being an asshat. (Hee hee.) (Sorry, I can't help it.)
And once you've finished giggling over their choice of insult (and mentally correcting their grammar errors), you're left with either feeling terrible for having offended, or just pleased that you've struck a chord.
I chose option B.
Call me an egomaniac if you must (I'll not disagree), but I've chosen to be grateful that both of them cared enough to shout and do hope they'll stick around to shout some more when I - inevitably - piss them off again.
Just one favour, BRT22N?
Don't offer ass smacks unless you mean it. You got me all excited there for a minute.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling like expelling a little more aggression myself.
*stubs out cigarette and rings the Russian*
41 of your inappropriate thoughts.:
Indeed the do, Gorilla. And therein lies the difficulty a I don't give a shit what men want.
Which is why so many of them want me (even when they don't admit it).
;-)
As for the spanking you so cheekily suggest?
I beliee I would thoroghly enjoy watching you try.
X
You know what I miss most from my homeland and MY friends? Intelligent debates. The kind where after a GREAT meal (by meal I mean something so delicious you want to lick the plate and of course bottles and bottles of red followed by a plate of cheese and a bottle of Porto) and sitting at the table surrounded by empty and licked off plates, numerous empty bottles of wine you suddenly realize it's 2 in the morning.
And you feel yourself aroused by the debate/discussion as there may have been some under the table action (subtle kicks, gropes, exploring, etc.) .
I am finding American men do not want to engage in these because to them they are Arguments. A capital A is required because it comes with a nasty connotation.
That's why Hank Moody is so fucking sexy. His character gets it. I want Hank Moody but instead I married Mr. Moody.
And your blog is all that. Sexy because it's engaging. Oh and 2 things I want to leave you with: 1- in case you were referring to me as having never left a comment (buzzer sounds loud buzz) I have left comments here before which breaks my heart because they went unnoticed, but I'll get over it 2- where the hell was I going with this? Oh yeah, if I ever met you in person I'd hug you then slap you because something tells me you'd enjoy it! ha!
Man my cup of coffee is fuckin delicious!
Look at you, you sexy thing that you can provoke such passionate reactions.~
;-)
Nikki, my love, I didn't mean that YOU were a lurker. Of course I've seen you before (how could I not notice you?)!
I was talking about my two...friends...from yesterday. Neither of them have commented before, so I was pleased that they had come out of their respective shells. Even if it was to shout at me.
As for the hug/slap combo?
Sounds DIVINE.
I'm glad you are enjoying this moment ;-) I find it equally entertaining that the haters would go through so much trouble. They must have kids and stay at home while their husband provides for them so that they can just look pretty to cover their obvious lack of brains....haha. Coming from a single independent divorced sex crazed full-time working mom of a 9 yr old ladies, so don't get too defensive on the kids/mom remark *smurk*. I always wonder what these haters think their emails or comments will result in.....because we obviously don't give a damn which should be evident by the fact that we write about our lives and indiscretions and what fun it brings in such a filterless manner. *cheering on the Barreness*
Oh and Muchas gracias para el blog amore! (did I get it right?)
*nudge nudge* Nomsayin'?
;-)
So I guess I would have to go under the category of "lurker," but I do have two things to say in my defense. 1: I've only been a follower for a short time and 2: I'm so incredibly intimidated by you, that I've been afraid to comment. Even writing this makes my legs a little wobbly (although that could be the cold medicine.) You're someone that so many people admire and I could never come up with anything to say that could come close to being "worthy." Plus, I'm a little bit like those women you described so I fall even more beneath you. But I still love reading what you write. It makes me think maybe someday I can be a strong woman again.
It's indeed interesting how much discussion was going on about your last post. This thing with those comments has turned from a list of appreciative remarks into a discussion that fruits content.
Congratulations for finding the right kind of stick to poke the cats under the sofa out into the light ;-)
Also, besides some minor typos (are we excited a lot while writing lately? ;p) your link to Nikki might benefit from removing the blogger.com part.
Greetings, Barreness. I'm new to your blog (only been lurking for about a week), and I. Love. It.
Your entry yesterday - and today's response to the furor over it - are right on the mark.
I just spent a couple weeks visiting my sister. She's a brilliant artist and lovely, intelligent woman who is slowly turning into one of those frighteningly dull (though not vapid, yet) women you describe. It's been awful, since she popped out the first kid, to see her subjugating her will in favor of her husband's. He draws the paycheck, so that seems to mean that she should give up sleep, exercise, social life, creative life, sanity, and her own personal and professional goals in order to advance his.
So thank all ye goddesses and gods that you are here to be the voice of reason for all of us who like to have men around...but don't NEED a man or kids to feel complete.
There is no way to effectively insult someone using the word 'asshat', as there is zero likelihood of you feeling offended while laughing your hatless ass off :)
You take hate comments WAY better than I ever did. And asshat? I love it.
It's a blessing and a curse, ladies. ;-)
I think so.
But actually, uh...lemme check...
*rings Replacement Spaniard*
*forgets to ask*
*makes "other" plans*
Well, Ms Randy, I don't know whether to blush at the flattery or continue whipping you with my riding crop for continuing to flirt with Miss Kat...
or make out with you.
Also an option.
Okay, I would normally email you (cuz this is kinda personal) but you haven't left an email, so I will just say it here.
I speak from experience to which I would NEVER admit (except that your comment made me sad) that is IS POSSIBLE to become a strong, independant woman, no matter your starting point.
Furthermore, you never EVER have to feel unworthy of posting here. appreciate the compliment (and I love people who love me), but I am ALWAYS happy to hear from a reader (even the mean ones). ;-)
Email me at any point if you want, Miss Hannah.
I am a lot of things (most of which I've listed in this post) - not all of them good. But I can be a great listener and one hell of a cheerleader (only partly because THE Spaniard always dug the skirt), should you ever need either.
thebarreness at live dot co dot uk
Use it.
Much love, sweet one.
- B x
Well, Miss Thundercat, I appreciate your enthusiasm and the compliment.
Not sure about the dirty dildo thing (blech), but I love the passion.
- B x
Mmm. Excellent advice.
I would, of course, have just stopped at "don't get married" but I've got issues. ;-)
I'm not sure they would, NRG.
Anyway, I'm not speaking to you anymore. ;-)
Really? Well...okay.
'Cept I'm not looking for anyone and I've certainly already found me.
But I'm glad you took something positive from it.
Brandy!!
I'm SO pleased to have you back!
I would ordinarily respond to you, of course, but I think my beloved Kat has already done so in the next comment and I DO hate to be unoriginal. ;-)
Suffice it to say that choice is good, single moms blow my mind and I'm very pleased to still have you around.
(Also, I did not sanction the whole "dirty dildo" thing. Forgive her, she's just a bit...passionate.)
Keep on rockin', you little badass.
*a special make up kiss for you*
- B x
Kat, you really must come to London and marry me.
I think we'd be good together.
*MWAH*
Okay, that's funny. What colour is yours? ;-)
Right you are, my gorgeous Miami amiga.
ALso, I get your aversion to the news...it can be pretty heinous, if I'm honest. But if you can get it, I recommend the BBC over any of the national networks in the States (LOTS of reasons which I'll not go into here) and somehow everything sounds a little less grim when said in an English accent... ;-)
Adoring you back, my sweet.
Roll on May!!!
*pulls out megaphone and asks Alexandra to repeat, for all to hear*
*then tries to make out with her*
*too much?*
;-)
Only the truth can offend.
I think that what you said in your previous post not only raised the issue of women not exploring their potential and choosing instead to stick to the easy option (aka *quoting you* being vapid, stupid, brainwashed, utterly dependent, manipulative or judgmental) but also the issue of women not having a clear vision of themselves.
To me, it sounds like your haters actually think they are the type of woman you were referring to... Which, as you very wisely mention, they obviously aren't as they were able to stand for themselves when feeling attacked...
So, really, you did them a favor here. They are not what they think they are. Thus, they don't have any reason anymore to feel offended. And, they've just learned something about themselves...
It's called tough love, and it sometimes makes wonders!
That said, I think you are absolutely right about women, very smart post indeed, and brilliant attitude :)
So not too much.
Sweetie, I'm not really the marrying kind, either, but Mothers seem to always hold out hope.
I saw nothing wrong with your last post. What's the big deal? Yeah, there are a lot of stupid vapid people out there: men and women. I've also met a lot of strong sexy simply amazing women in my life. Want to come hang out in my part of town? ;)
Jesus doesn't hate anyone. It's kind of in the book. And making the judgment that he hates someone is against the rules.
I've always felt pretty fucking lucky I've got a lot of those smart, hilarious women in my life. I'm a ladyist.
When women become catty and competitive, it drives me fucking nuts, because I'm not that way. Recently, I realized I'm tenacious, but I'm not competitive. Why don't these women work on achieving their own goals instead of envying other people's? It's a waste of their time.
Can I just say, I wish I were gay. No, really. I would so be your bitch. I love your posts. Keep 'em coming you twisted, freaky asshat!! Mwah!
...and cue music camera zooms in slowwwwwly...
You lie! (quite often, I'm guessing, in various positions)
You came by me for a giggle just yesterday.
The difference between an opinion and judgment is the proclaimed degree of objectivity and hence universal applicability. Whether judging begins where an opinion is voiced, corresponds your own or reflects truth is a matter of perspective. Hint: Agreeing to one of the three options shows you didn't understand it ;-)
And yes, the author is a judgmental bitch!
Here here!!
Very pleased to show you a different side of your third decade.
I, personally,am having FAR too much fun in mine... ;-)
*mwah*
Too true, dearest.
Too (irritatingly) true.
Um...yes!
Well Duchess, you never know...I may soon be in the market for more bitches.
I'll keep you in mind.
;-)
Actually I rarely lie.
Go ahead and assign any meaning to that you like.
;-)
Don't they?
Also, Brandy loves me now.
We're down.
We had to work shit out, you know?
Whatevs, Hatori.
You adore me and we both know it.
Can't be helped, really...
;-)
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