In Defense of F*cking.

Recently I received a comment from this guy.

Very cute, very clever, and sadly very unavailable as he currently lives with a beautiful woman who fills cracks. Me and my bloody bad timing.

Anyhoo.

He made a comment which read "blah blah blah you rock" (yes, we KNOW!), "blah blah blah I have a penis" (Indeed and no, I am not picturing it just now.) (Yes I was.), and "I fucking love seeing the word 'fuck' in print surrounded by articulate writing and thought."

Which made me think a couple of things.

FIRST: Merci beaucoup et enchante, Charlie. And may I compliment you on your IMPECCABLE taste in blogs.

SECOND: I'm pretty sure F*ck is one of the most under appreciated words in the English language. Almost as multifunctional as my favourite Americanism, "Dude" (nobody Dudes like an American, God Bless 'em), f*ck has such an array of meanings, and is just so. damned. expressive.

To begin with, there's the obvious, sexual connotation. To fuck someone is the most base and carnal of acts - far more intense (and uh, awesome) than say, lovemaking (zzzzz), sleeping together (who's sleeping??) or even screwing, which I have to say has always put me off a bit (entirely the wrong images of metal implements come to mind...).

But let's think outside of the proverbial box (hee hee...she said "box").

When one is angry, what better expletive is there to be found? A resounding "FUCK!!!" screamed at the top of ones lungs can be incredibly cathartic indeed.

**she pauses, mid post, to try one, shouted from her bedroom window onto an unsuspecting London city street**

Yep. Divine.

When confronted with a particularly attractive member of the opposite sex (Or the same sex, if you like. The Barreness judge-eth not.*), a long slow, slightly under the breath, "Fuuuuuuuuck" is often released - doubtlessly attracting the attention of surrounding observers and thus spreading the joy of observing a thing of beauty.

It can convey extreme incredulity: "what the f*ck?!", and is a brilliant transitional word, when one wants and/or needs to convey a phrase with real intensity:

Un-f*cking-believable.

Big f*cking deal.

Right f*cking NOW!

Even Christians can get in on the f*cking fun!! :

Holy f*ck! (this may or may not be followed by "-ing shit!") (Vive le variety!)

Jesus F*cking Christ!

Halle-f*cking-lujia!

Okay, technically I think all of the above are considered blasphemy (viewed by some as not ideal), so maybe Christians aren't technically "allowed" to partake in that bit of the fun. Also, most of them who were reading this blog are probably not anymore.

Damned atheist blogging b*tches.

** She shakes fists vehemently until her eye lands on the Richard Dawkins books piled in the corner. At which point, she moves swiftly on. **

It's even pretty to look at. (Read into that what you will, I'm specifically referencing the word here.) It's so...neat. Compact. Tiny, really, considering the weight it carries and the reaction it often evokes. I like to take my time and type it slowly.

F...........U..........C..........K

((sigh))

Lovely.

And so, Charlie, I concur wholeheartedly with your statement (and, well, the entirety of your compliment, naturally) and I hope to continue to flaunt the F-word with reckless abandon, ideally topping and tailing it with "articulate writing and thought".

Though I must warn you:

Sometimes I just say it 'cuz it makes me giggle.

Much love,

* Often this blog is reminiscent of a Shakespearean sonnet. (um...what?) Also, I'm reasonably certain that old Willie would have f*cked, had f*cking been on the menu in his day.